Mini Bigfoot

You found him! After decades, nay, centuries of ambling about the forests of the Pacific Northwest, it took a noble soul such as yourself to coax Mr. Squatch into civilization! Now comes the fun part - showing him everything he's missed by being a blurry recluse! Bigfoot has never been to a proper ice cream parlor! Bigfoot has never once sniffed the intoxicating smell of freshly baked cookies! Bigfoot hasn't even seen that certain sci-fi trilogy with the spaceship co-pilot who looks suspiciously like him! What are you waiting for? Welcome Bigfoot to modern life with a big hug!